Siblings are your first friend and the only life long relationships. They have grown in the same environment as you, and that helps them to understand your feelings. However, sibling jealousy and conflicts are not unheard of. However bad it may have gone, bringing it back on track can help your emotional wellbeing any day.
All will agree to it that siblings make best pals and worst enemies. It is the most special and sensitive bond that human beings can ever have. It reminded me the story of “Pride and Prejudice”, where the five Bennett sisters shared a typical bond of love, friendship, and mutual understanding. They were devoted sisters, despite differences in temperament and opinions. Sibling relationships are just like that, loaded with emotions, sentiments, jealousy, aggression and what not. Siblings are friends and companions for life. You are stuck with your sibling emotionally and psychologically, though you people may have lot of differences in preferences, priorities, values, and goals in life. You have shared common memories and similar life experiences. Sibling bonds are authentic and unique because they grow up together and as a result they know each other well. At times, they may become your greatest foe or a biggest critique. Researches on family dynamics have shown that sibling relationships can either enhance or disrupt family harmony and cohesiveness. At times, conflict arises in the relationship that is commonly known as ‘sibling rivalry’. It is an integral and inseparable part of the bond. A proper communication and mutual understanding can help to resolve the issue between siblings.
Few common unhealthy relationship issues between siblings are:
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Sibling rivalry in the form of jealousy, unhealthy competition, verbal fights, blaming each other.
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Difference of opinion; one sibling showing intense aggression towards the other, teasing, bullying, using slang language and chiding each other.
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Feelings of unfair treatment by one or both parents may arise anytime in the relationship. It can make the bond more jealous and full of resentments.
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Many times the younger sibling may feel neglected and humiliated; if asked to use the clothes, books, or toys of the older child. As a result, they feel less loved and cared for.
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Estrangement may take place when the conflict gets intense and siblings cut off their relationship forever. Without parental negotiations or help from relatives, this problem can keep siblings away from each other for many years.
What causes these issues?
The rift starts with jealousy and fights and aggravates slowly with anger outbursts, frustration, and bad mouth. Parental favoritism is an important issue in this or often the beginning. . Either of the siblings feels that parents love and attend to the needs of the other one more than them. This brings dislike and resentment for the other sibling. Each child becomes competing and tries to prove their worth by portraying their best talents, interests, and activities. This is done just to show that they are better than their siblings. It continous in adultood by showinng of wealth, achievements and contant comparisons which widens the rift. The house environment may become stressful. Parents play a vital role. If your child sees you and your partner fighting loudly, they may take you up as a role model. They start feeling that this is the right skill to resolute conflicts. Later, they will use it on each other.
How to revive your bond as adults?
The best part of the relationship is that no matter what happens, the relationship can be revived and maintained for life. So, even if you have fallen apart from each other, there are still many things left in the relationship.
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Forgive each other’s childhood misdeeds and leave your emotional baggage. Easier said than done, but letting go is the first step
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Spend quality time with each other by reliving lost moments of happiness and fun.
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Make unexpected visit to your sibling’s place. It means a lot to them.
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Stay connected with them through long chats and weekend calls.
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Avoid digging past issues in front of others. Keep it personal only between two of you.
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Schedule a vacation meet once a year to revive old bonds and cherish golden memories of childhood.
Must do for Parents to develop a healthy sibling relationship:
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A. Start with avoiding comparison in any form, help them accept each others strengths and improvements
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B. Teach them the art of sharing, caring, compassion, and cooperation.
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C. Teach them positive ways of conflict resolution through adjustment and adaptation.
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D. Avoid playing favorites and treat both equally.
Sibling relationships determine your emotional wellbeing and higher life satisfaction. It’s all about striking the right chords of togetherness and mutual respect.
